Cyclone Reuben’s coming up next!

A friend’s text alert from the mainland blared the disastrous news on Friday night as we were quietly awaiting a lecture about our nation’s space plans from none other than NASA’s ebullient administrator, Charles Bolden. Forget about our future vacations to Mars —  this very second, a Category V Tropical Cyclone was on the loose!  And it apparently had signed in with my name!  “Look what you did,” screeched another pal’s email the next day — it seemed like I’d destroyed the Vanuatu Island chain.

Pam was all over the news … Cyclone Pam this and Cyclone Pam that! All because at a World Meteorological Tropical Cyclone Committee Meeting, Pam got enough votes to claim a place on “List C: Southern Pacific Ocean (160 degrees East- 120 degrees West.”)  How many votes did Portia line up? Hardly enough to save Pam from getting associated with one of the most destructive tropical cyclones ever.

Really, it’s not such a terrible name.  You can see what it says about my name in the Urban Dictionary.*   Still, my nickname’s had some tough breaks. Back in fourth grade, an infamous oven spray made from canola oil suddenly landed on grocery shelves. And Con Agra spelled it out in catchy red letters. How come?  Because  PAM is an acronym for “Product of Arthur Meyerhoff,” the entrepreneur who took out the patent. (Can I have a can of  Product of Arthur Meyerhoff, please?)

Some people call me Pamela. But those three extra letters tag two more syllables on to my heftily hyphenated name; Pam makes things a bit easier. (I still can’t believe that the ever so talented violin virtuoso Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg pulls it off so successfully … all those letters piled sky high on the marquis!

Thank goodness that after so much devastation — Cyclone Pam’s reign has ended.  Looks like Reuben’s turn is next…

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tropical_cyclone_naming

* Pams tend to be very outgoing, long haired , funny people. They can always make you smile and are the kind of friends that you can never get mad at. And of course Pams are the type of people you can tell all your problems to! :]