Has anyone ever ghost-written a Nano novel?

I’d give an able-bodied ghost all my index cards with those nifty colored dots and bring it cookies straight out of the oven, sprinkled with cinnamon … since I wouldn’t be glued to my seat and I’d have all that free time to tickle my savior’s taste buds.

Anything to nourish its spirit, to sustain its willingness to meet my 50K deadline.

Of course, I’d be there all the way.  Just not on the hot seat. My ghost would be the one almost over-powered by the brutal moments of truth when ideas that once sparkled on index cards start twitching helplessly on the computer screen.  … facing the despair of stagnant word counts and the emptiness that envelops writers far from the elusive magnetic pole, guiding both ghost and flesh to the Finish Line.

What? Was that you?  You’re here. I’m so thrilled. Oh, no!  You can’t disappear now! You can? Honestly, you’ll have so much fun!  Just wait’ll you get to the 10K!  20K! 30K milestones and meet up with those fireworks that will ignite every cell in your body.

My cookies, my computer, my zany index cards, my name … plus your sturdy shoulders, your remarkable patience, and brilliance would carry us across the finish line.  (I guess I’d be the one cleaning up all the cookie crumbs and, I suppose, collecting the trophy.)

I’m sure that we’ll get there — never sharing our divine secret that you were the one, the courageous spirit who sat on the chair. How could I ever forget that it was your savvy talent and endurance as a ghostwriter that did it all!

What — you quit?  Don’t leave me, please. The bedlam doesn’t start till Saturday, November 1.  Wait’ll  you see all my index cards. Let me explain. The red dots are for character descriptions. Herkimer Raleigh, the great astrologer who knows all about the stars and exactly how to make them fall into place. Elliot Recounte, fresh from covering a mainland race and sniffing around for his second Pulitzer. Amadon Rabbit, who’s Bunny to her fans and Ducky to somebody else, and just does what she does so well.  And the blue dots tell us what keeps the plot going.  Waimea Trust, Amadon’s Swap Show, The Sylvester Trio which plays chamber music so ineptly. I’ll tell you about the yellow and green dots, later.

Come here, my friendly ghost. It’s a comedy and you’ll be the one who can make everyone laugh. You’ll want to push on past 100,000 words. A million and a half!  You”ll never want to stop.

It’s all about winning, you know, with me at your side.